THE GLORIOUS RESULTS OF A MISSPENT YOUTH

First of all, I want to thank all the great and wonderful people who wished me well during my sickness and offered varous & sundry cures for the common cold. I tried them all. All at once: snore-strips, various nose-drops, medications, ointments, oils, and teas. And they must have worked, because now I feel much better. There's still a lingering cough to deal with, but otherwise I am fine and dandy.

Next, I want to make it public that I have recently taken great steps in my life and am feeling a certain level of self control and confidence that I have never known before. Financially, especially. I actually feel good about what I have done with money as of late. I know exactly what is what & where it is going, instead of just paying out every month. I have found the cheapest way of paying off my debts of the past, with the lowest possible interest and the least amount of hassle. I have canceled a number of unnecessary accounts (like an extra internet server/email) and adjusted my phone service to minimize my monthly expenses.

Also, I am getting back into college with the precise knowledege of which classes I have to take to get a degree. This means I will have to take a math course. I have tested and know where I have to start. It isn't exactly where I left off years ago, but I didn't retain a lot of that ancient information. So what? At least I know where I stand and what I have to do. I look at it this way: I am going to make believe that I am going to college for the first time and starting from scratch. Actually I'll have a three year headstart and a reasonable GPA in everything except for math, so that's a nice advantage. And I'll be out of there in no time! Fix the math; fix the GPA. Graduate as a solid B+ student.

I still have no idea "what I want to do with my life" (screams the teacher with spittle spewing from his former Delta-house maw, as the chunky kid in the Twisted Sister shirt mouths Dee Snyder's metallic bray: "I wanna ROCK!" ---- you see what they did to me?)*. But I don't care. I don't really want to know everything. I just want to make it to the next level. Foresight helps, to an extent. So I shall try to gain some. For now though, God (or Goddess, or no-God-at-all and all forms in-between, so as not to insult anyone or their mother, brother, or pet monkey), please, please, please let me live my life and make advancements. And without so much worry, emotional rollercoastering, anger, bitterness, and scorn. Please. I beg of thee, oh Ben of Earth, hearken to my calling and live your life as I have decreed.

In other news: UNT's storied "albino squirrel" has been MURDERED! (I am extremely late in reporting this, but I thought it merited a blurb on Magical Missives anyway.) The mythic mascot was apparently scooped up by a hawk and carried into a tree. Students gathered around and pelted the poor bird with rocks & pens & erasers & then text books, until it relented. UNT's favored son (or daughter) then plummeted to earth like Kong from the Empire State Building. Unfortunately, our bushy-tailed hero, beloved and now mourned, was already dead.

A moment of silence, please.

In yet more news: Ben of Earth was almost sprayed by a skunk! I was jogging along the Chisolm Trail, one evening, when I saw the cutest little kitty-cat scurrying amongst the shadows. It was a most unusual feline, with a long white stripe on its back, and it seemed intent upon periscoping its tail and aiming its butt at me. "That's no lil kitty!!!" blared the lightbulb that went on above my head. And, quick as a cat, I hotfooted up a nearby upgrade and fled into the neighboring streets and houses...

Epilouge: ... then last night, as I was driving past the same area, I saw a bunch of teenagers partying in their front yard. Unbeknownst to them, a few houses down, a skunk (the same one?) was headed in their direction. Whether Pepe LePew shied away from them or showered them with an unholy stink, I will never know.

P.S. Is your voter registration still valid? Mine is, and I plan to use it!

VOTE KINKY!!!!!

* This is a passage from a Twisted Sister video circa 1983 or 4 or 5. If you haven't seen it, what I have written will make little or no sense to you. If, however, you have seen it (and if you grew up in the same era as me, you probably have), then you'll know what I mean.