A PLAY IN THREE ACTS

Act I:

Scene 1:
Our hero stirs and awakens on the couch to the sound of "gentle pulses embedded into an ambient musical soundtrack". It is 10 am. He languishes as a cool wind whispers through an open window. Thinks: "I love days off!"
Scene 2:
Feeds the cat, takes vitamins, eats boiled eggs and toast. Decides to go for a hike at the Arbor Hills Nature Preserve (see picture). He has never been there before, but has heard a lot about it. Pays bills online, checks to see if blog buddies have written anything new (they haven't). Begins documenting his day in a unique blog format (i.e. like a play). Lets cat outside to romp, cleans up, and showers.
Scene 3:
Before showering, looks at self in mirror. Thinks: "Almost forty years old and I've still got a body to die for!" While showering, he opens small window to peer out into side yard to see if cat is cavorting there. Sees little children, atop play fort in yard next door, peering back at him over top of fence. Hurriedly closes shower window! Tries not to laugh.
Scene 4:
Gathers up walking staff and other supplies. Entertains silly Bilbo Baggins fantasy of leaving Bag End on an adventure.
Act II
Scene 1:
In which our hero drives across Plano to the Arbor Hills Nature Preserve. Stops along the way, to get gas. Annoyed by high prices. Opines: "The trouble with so many Americans is that they all want to be cool and beautiful, which they equate with extravagance. So they pretend to be wealthy (even if they're not) to the ridiculous point of supporting leaders dedictated to serving only a very exclusive club of the rich and powerful. Whereby, ironically, these Americans all fuck themselves. Their real selves."
Scene 2:
Arrives at the nature preserve to find it overrun by hordes of yuppies and their kids. A stereotype of a man (with a haircut from a magazine, a cell phone addiction, and his shadow/wife pulling his strings) shields his God-fearing kids from the strange fellow with a hiking stick and evil, satanic Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix baseball cap. Our hero leans on his staff and smiles serenely at the man and his yuppie brood as they file by. Thinks: "It's eerie how yuppies all look exactly alike .. intentionally"
The trail turns out to be a concrete path through bushes and a few trees. Our disappointed hero walks it in less than half an hour. Grumbles to himself for much of the time, things like: "Goddamn cookie cutter, conformists, yuppie bastard scumbags!" He consciously has to cheer himself up as he walks back to his car. Vows never to return.
Scene 3:
Drives back across Plano (wasting precious gas) to Bob Woodruff Park. Familiar turf. Hikes a circuitous route covering most of the large park, including woods, a lake, and several bridges. Thinks: "This is more like it!" He arrives, finally, in a glade where stands the famous "bicentennial oak", planted in 1787. Thinks: "This is where Jordan and Amanda got married." Has a good time hiking here. The day is saved!
Act III:
Scene 1:
He goes to Kroger and buys butterbeer supplies (see previous entry Geek Mythology @ http://magicalmissives.blogspot.com/2005/09/geek-mythology.html). Comes home and makes the butterbeer. The brown sugar tends to clump up quite a bit and stick to the bottom. Not sure if he used enough butter. However ... it tastes delicious; a nice combination of apple, spices, and cream. Tart, sweet, and buttery. And when he first pours the apple cider over the ice cream and other ingredients, it has a smooth, frothy texture. (Awfully rich, though.) He'll have to practice until he figures out how to de-lump the brown sugar.

Scene 2:
Our hero decides to spend the rest of his evening working out, running off the butterbeer, and relaxing.
Scene 3:
In which he decides never to write about himself in the third person ever again, being that it is so completely pretentious ... and Ben doesn't like it, either!

THE END