Life Imitates BART!

So, last night, Leia and I had dinner at Nate's seafood restaurant in Addison. I ate a lavish mountain of fried kraken, sea serpent, and Moby Dick. Leia had a small ocean of gumbo. I drank a Shiner. She had iced tea.

After that, we decided we absolutely must go down to Northwest Highway and Hillcrest to visit the Quik-E Mart. The 7-11 there (for those who haven't heard) is one of twelve in the world (meaning the U.S.A.) that has been converted into the buy-n-bye convenience store seen on the Simpsons. This promotion will last through the end of July to promote the new Simpsons movie due to come out this summer.

All the 7-11 signs had been replaced with the Quik-E Mart logo. The store's facade was covered with a yellowish veneer, with bits of brick showing through the plaster, like the storefront on the show.
Inside, we found six-packs of Buzz Cola, boxes of Frosted Krusty O's, do-nuts (not don't-nuts) with pink topping and sprinkles, and (of course) the Slurpee dispenser was now a Squishee machine.

I kept trying to find Apu, but there was just a little woman behind the counter who kept mono-toning, "Thank you, come again" at random intervals. It didn't matter if you were coming or going, in the middle of a transaction, or in the midst of speech. It was as if she was programmed to repeat Apu's catchphrase every fifteen seconds with little or no regard for her surroundings. I felt kind of sorry for her. I wondered if she even knew about Apu or cared why her creatively retarded corporate overlords/bullies were (likely) monitoring her activities to make sure she quoted him to every customer.

Or was this merely an ironic case of life-imitating-art-imitating-life? Or something ...

There were neon, plastic representations of the show's characters posed about the store. Chief Wiggum was loitering by the do-nut (not don't-nut) case. Little Maggie was crawling along the counter. Homer was challenging Wiggum for a do-nut (not a don't-nut). I think Bart and Milhouse were going for Squishees.

People were taking pictures with them.

I bought a six-pack of Buzz Cola (to save until it's worth something) and a single to drink. The small print claims it is a product of the 7-11 company in Dallas, Texas.

I got two boxes of Krusty O's; one to eat, one to save. It's "the best you can expect from a TV clown," says a blurb on the front of the box. On the side of the container is Krusty's Nutrition guarantee. It reads: "I guarantee I was paid to say this stuff is nutritious".

If you must know, Krusty O's are really Fruit Loops.

Leia and I each had a do-nut (not a don't-nut) and a Squishee.

If you're curious:
I searched the place, thoroughly, and saw not a single Duff's Beer.

P.S. I don't know if it was the kraken, the sea serpent, Moby Dick, or Apu's famous salmonella, but I came home and barfed my guts out for about an hour!

D'oh!