GILDEROY LOCKHART IS DROP DEAD SEXY!!!

Okay. So I've gotten into this roleplaying thing on the dreaded Myspace hullabaloo. It 's based on the Harry Potterverse, so naturally I am masquerading as Gilderoy Lockhart. Right? At first, it was all very nice. My buddy list included all the usual folks: Snape, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, and Harry. Their profile pictures featured the actors from the movies, and they all seemed to be playing their parts convincingly. Then, suddenly, there appeared hordes of scantily clad girls claiming to be Harry's long lost cousin or the grown up version of Ginny or one of the Patil twins; all of whom - based on the pictures used - developed into supermodels and eschewed the modest Hogwarts attire in favor of teeny weeny bikinis and extremely exciting underwear. They have also forgotten how to act like proper English boarding school lasses and seem more interested in describing all the different ways in which they would like to jump Professor Lockhart's bones. All of them claim to be at least 18 years old, which is good, but I feel weird flirting with them. I mean, I had a lovely romance with Madame Rosmerta, and apparently, Narcissa Malfoy (who looks just like Michelle Pfeiffer) wants to make my lips fall off and my tongue turn into ash. All of which is very nice, of course. But, I mean, I have yet to go adventuring with Snape or Hagrid. Or battle with You Know Who. It's all sexy girls who want to have their way with poor old Professor Lockhart! I got into this thing for fun and adventure, and a few laughs at dumb old Gilderoy's expense. But now, the bumbling clothes horse has become a sex symbol, and I am not sure how seriously some of these young ladies are taking the game.
I mean, I'm not Gilderoy. I'm me.
Maybe I should just relax and enjoy the roleplaying. But I have to draw the line when they start offering to have sex with Lockhart. I'm fine with carriage rides in the moonlight and drinks at the Three Broomsticks, but it gets a little too extreme when they start talking about how they'd like to teach the professor a thing or two and/or what they'd like to do with my magic wand. Which means, in essence, they want to engage in kinky cyber chat with the character created by JK Rowling and Kenneth Branagh. For all I know, they could be dirty old men posing as lovely teenage girls as a means of getting their rocks off with the likes of Snape and Gilderoy (not to mention young Harry, Draco, and Ron). Or they could really be horny teenage girls who want to lose their cyber-innocence to a handsome Hogwarts authority figure. Which would make me a dirty old man. And could get me thrown into Azkaban!
What's a wizard to do?